You can call me Ms.Lucky

Point blank, I'm nearly dead from exhaustion. I showed all symptoms of delerium today- including, but not limited to, almost hitting a man on a bicylce with my car. I worked 46 hours in 3 days with only about 4 hours of sleep a night. I will never look at tea or ice cream the same ever again. Yesterday after I determined I could take no more, I started plotting ways to sit down (as it was so busy, I couldn't stop moving- and those tea vats are heavy!). And, this is what I found:

I found myself Sitting (ahhhh) next to a steamy silver rocket looking contraption that donned a proud yellow and red umbrella. Oh yes, ladies and gentleman, I worked a Lucky Dog cart. A big stinkin nasty mobile hot dog distributer. But oh my gawd my legs and feet never felt so good. I literally sat next to it and repeated "One? That'll be six dollars, Thank you". However, my expectations were exceeded. I was really looking forward to working with a semi-homeless guy who just got out of heroine rehab who stuffed sloppy hot dogs down his neck and onto his braided beard. WRONG. Oh no, I couldn't get that guy. I just had to be sat next to a man smarter than I am. WTF. I had no intentions of leaving that cart feeling badly about myself. The guy that ran mine nearly has a Ph.D in history, but quit school because he decided that he made more money running these nasty carts than he would professing at a college. Oh, and he kinda wrote a book. His sons are airline pilots, and they too run a cart in the airport when they're not operating large, life-or-death types of machinery. Oh and the cart on the other side of the festival...definately run by a State Representative.

I seriously can't wait to tell some of my professors about this- thus inciting a riot about their pay- thus giving me a few days off of school.

So at this point, you're wondering how you can get the job of collecting cash at a lucky dog stand? The people who owned the booths we were working (food, tea, ice cream...festival junk of those sorts) also rented this lucky dog booth. So instead of working my balls off I sat around instead. You freakin betcha. I texted Lacey at some point during my work experience to tell her what I was doing and got this response:

Shut the fuck up. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD have someone take a picture. Like I wanna frame it. Aghh I wish I could witness this.

No comment about how freakin awful I look. I almost died people! Anyways, I paid my rent in like 2 days of work and that's fine with me.

Side note: It's freakin cold. Brrrrrr

I'm On Fiya!

Not really, don't panic. But seriously...this blogging thing is going to get out of hand. Someone will have to stop me. I'll be out of town this whole weekend, but Monday...oh man, the stories are going to be good. I'll be working the Voodoo Music Fest and serving (drumroll please)...
Ice Cream, Sweet Tea,...and Cigarettes! What crackhead came up with that combination??? What's going to happen is this:
My friend Shawn and I are going to be working this booth for 3 days straight from like 9 am til 11pm. We're both going to be exhausted but totally whopped out from having too much ice cream and sweet tea. Then low and behold, I'm going to be forced to become a smoker to calm my nerves down. Did I mention how bad I'm going to smell??? Spoiled milk, old tea and cigarettes is probably a smell that not even Frederick's of Hollywood would pick up!
Did I mention how freakin long it takes to make frozen waffles if you don't have a toaster!??? I have the stupidest duo-tone oven aliiive. It takes freakin 20 minutes to pre-heat at least and by that time my stomach is pissed and dueling itself. I'll bet Oprah would love to be able to fondle my stomach guts when they're doing tricks like that!

I'm sick, I'm dying.

Okay, so if you didn't watch Oprah today, here's the scoop: Oprah is on her way to receiving her Ph.D. She was definately playing with brains on her show today! I was repulsed. I definately think she's crushing on Dr. Oz and was showing off her brain-handling skills. Whatever the case, it was weird and gross for a multitude of reasons. But, how cool would it have been if she would have had hidden under the seats a FREE BRAIN for everyone in the audience? Cars-shmars. Brains would be cool.
Did I mention I'm sick? That whole paragraph was fever induced. I have no flippin' clue why I have a fever or why I've taken 3 hour naps two days in a row. Maybe I've got the hivv. Maybe I've contracted the exhausted bug. Maybe I shouldn't say "sick" because that sounds like a cough or a stomach thing- I have neither. I'm just tired a lot lately. I took some vitamins today thinking that maybe I'm a little deficient, and so far, I'm still dying. For those of you interest **ahem, yes- you woman, the only reader**, I did in-fact cook again tonight. Some type of feel better soup. Can't really tell if it's delicious or not b/c I slurped it and burnt my tongue. I'm classy...and very hot. Literally, burning up. I've got the a/c running and it's cold outside. I'm going to watch re-runs of sex in the city now, I'll be up for hours after my nap. :*(

I Cook Food for An Entire Week Like Your Grandmother

Yes, woman, this post is for you. Real woman of genius.
Apparently, playing the part of Mrs. Paul Rieser means that not only do I have to check the laceyinlove blog for accuracy (what!? I got 1st amendment rights to protect mah-self against libel and slander!), but I also have to update my blog so I can represent my own damn self (fa sho).
I want to go ahead and mention now that if my boyfriend read this, he'd totally have proof that I have a girlfriend (as suspected). I told him to suck my deek. It went over well. My woman and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary as friends this month. If anyone has fancy traditions that they have with their bestfriends I'm open to new suggestions, because otherwise we're going to be throwing back some tequila and playing jenga, possibly while listening to Paula Abdul. I should also mention that I quit keeping up with pop culture some time in the late 80's, or early 90's. If "Cold Hearted Snake" isn't totally lurking in your brain right now, we can't be cyber friends (that accidentally sounded kinky). I'm a total dork and if I could actually figure out how to add music or anything fancy to my page, you'd be listening to Whitney Houston or Journey right now. You lucky reader, you.
I'll try to keep up with this. Keep the threats consistent and all will be well.
Lu